A Marriage Retreat...In Our Own Backyard

What do you do with a large deck next door?  Well, you invite 4 couples and the Buri's to come over and talk marriage! The Lee's deck amply accommodated 6 couples, and with borrowed comfy chairs from our neighbor Mary on the other side, we nibbled appetizers, sipped wine and delved into the nitty gritty stuff of relationships on Friday evening.  With two couples anticipating marriage in the summer and one newly married, we all shared our stories, wisdom, failures, hopes, and questions on this beautiful evening.  An almost perfect evening, that is, until the mosquitoes made their debut for the summer.

Sample questions we pondered and answered were:

• What is the hardest thing you have had to deal with or anticipate dealing with?  
• How many kids do you want?  
• How do you keep your spouse special in your mind?  What do you do to keep your marriage central in your life? 
• How would you rate the attractiveness of a woman (not your wife) you heard was attracted to you? 

Some key points I came away with are:

• Continually evaluate how you are doing in the relationship. When you think you "have arrived at a perfect place", you may not be looking closely enough at the relationship. It is a life-long process.
• Research shows that religion and faith play only a small role in the effectiveness of a marriage. Constant communication, making time for each other, etc. play a huge role.
• It is worth going further into debt if it means you put more time and money into your relationship.
• Conversations like this one are a great way to get to know your future in laws! I enjoyed the openness and honesty of Dave, Grace, and Robert.

Maybe next year we'll again have the opportunity to glean wisdom and support for this most important of topics. Our culture is in desperate need of Great Marriages.