Holding up a mirror so someone can see their own behavior and its ramifications is a delicate art. It shouldn't be tried if love really is not the aim. And it needs to be carefully considered in its delivery, timing, and frequency.
Spouses really ought to be able to call each other on to good behavior, good ways of thinking, and the Truth.
Calling someone on and sticking it to them with the painful truth are two different things. The manner of each is different and the motivations are usually different.
True conviction of behavior and its far reaching or short term consequences can really only come from God. We can try to convince someone until the cows come home that they need to change, to grow up, to turn the tide of an attitude.
If I shift my focus towards blessing my spouse, I am less likely to blame, point out his faults, and highlight his weaknesses in front of others. Most of us already know where we fail. We are aware and sensitive to our failings. We really don't need them facing us regularly in the form of a holier than thou spouse.
It is the voice of the Holy Spirit that finally convicts. Sometimes that voice can be heard through people, yes. But often it is in the heart that we hear the sometimes quiet, sometimes loud words that make us melt into sorrow for what we have done, and lead us gently towards forgiveness. Then, real change can and does happen.
When I vowed to love, honor and cherish my husband, I didn't mean I would convict, blame and degrade him. I meant I would honor, love and cherish.
Pray that you are able to see the opportunities before you to bless your spouse. That you are able to follow through with what you see. And that you are able to bless again, again and again. The Holy Spirit is on your side. Make it a team effort.
Help us take every opportunity to bless each other
and allow the Holy Spirit to be the one to convict of sin.
and allow the Holy Spirit to be the one to convict of sin.
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